Here is a little glimpse of my opening scene. Please provide me with some feedback so I can improve.
I can hear his teeth grinding as the handcuffs smashed onto his all ready bruised up wrists. “I’m so sorry, I’ll be back, I promise.” His voice echoed throughout the entire building as they pulled him down the stairs. Silent tears are already rolling down my pale cheeks. The poor little boy just clinged to my right leg as I tried to shove him back into the silent room. Without a word in my mouth, I closed the door once again. No need for words because this was already the fifth time this year. A boy without his dad. Nothing was changing, the same silence as it always has been. The little boy was now five years old. Five years of his short life that was without “him.” Each time just a little bit longer. Each time was a different excuse, another apology. But these doors were staying closed.
3 Comments
Candace Stoltzfus
3/2/2018 06:14:38 pm
I'm looking forward to reading your memoir! I thought you did a good job getting the reader's attention with the first scene.
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Natasha
3/3/2018 01:30:19 pm
I think this is a good start, it draws you in and makes you want more.
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3/4/2018 03:26:57 pm
WoW I must say I thought this was a powerful beginning. I can only imagine where it goes from here.
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Rosita CarbajalI will use this blog to write about my course requirements and what ever my heart desires. Archives
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